My journey begins

So its kinda weird to be typing this, but i am over weight. I have always been big, and it hasn't really bothered me too much. But recently i have noticed that i am not as healthy as i used to be. Things i was able to do, 3 years ago, have become really difficult. This has really forced me to look at myself and my lifestyle and really commit to a change. So this is the beginning of my journey, not to a small pants size, but rather to better health.

My plan is to blog every once in a while, perhaps once a week, my progress for good or worse. I don't plan on taking on this thing full speed, its not a sprint but a marathon. Start slowly changing eating habits, and get exercise at a constant interval.

Yesterday i tried jogging as far as i could, which to my dismay isn't that far. Ankles are not ready for the pounding of a run with the weight im carrying, got to train them first. So i walked the rest of the 1.5 miles. I know its the not the most intense way to burn calories, but like a said before small steps.

The hard part will be food control, we will see how hard it will be to brake those habits.

Til next time.

F

On family

So to be blunt, my mother just had a stroke a day ago.  And i am pretty freaked out right now.  The worst thing is, no one else seems to be as scared.  My dad is always cool and collected, so i expect that from him.  My brother and sister seem to be dealing with it, like it is not that big of a deal.  And sure the stroke is considered minor in most cases, but still our mom had a frickin stroke, you would expect them to be a little scared.  My mom, she is holding strong too, if  you didn't know her, you wouldn't think it effected her at all.  But i think it really its bothering her.  I was just talking to her and i could tell she didn't like that her face was slightly droopy. And that kills me that she feels that way. This is bothering the hell out of me and i can't keep it inside anymore.  I was talking to her like 2 hours before it happened, and she was perfectly fine.   I don't know, I feel flustered because i know there was nothing i could do, but at the same time i feel like i could have done something. blah.  

So the doctors still haven't gotten back to us on the extent of the stroke.  We only know what my mom tells us is bothering her.  Her right side seems to be the side effected.  Right arm limited  mobility, right leg okay but slight limp when she walks.  And her speech is slurred like you might expect from someone who had a stroke.  Therapy starts next week and hopefully she will be on the fast track to recovery.  I think we grow up thinking are parents are exempt from such health issues.  Or at least I never thought that this would happen to either of my parents.  And when it does happen, its like your beliefs are shaken.  Perhaps thats why i am not taking this well.  I don't know, but after getting this all out, i feel a lot better..

On making mistakes during a economic slump

 I may have never been so worried in my life than I am right now.  During a time when the economy is struggling, and everyone is watching their expenditures, money has become a precious commodity.   The risk that you might not see any returns on an investment is so great, that many would be investors are now holding onto their money.  I work in a field that depends on the clientele trusting the service I provide.  That client  then comes back with more work or refers me to other prospective clients.  I have come to realize that making mistakes during such a economic period, not only looks bad, but has a magnifying effect.  In general no one likes to lose money, but during a downturn in the economy, people are even less tolerant of the idea.  So when I make a mistake on a project, no matter how small or minute, to the investor, that mistake equates to total incompetence, and therefore the withdrawal of work.  I know this is basic stuff, makes sense that no one would want to invest in someone who makes mistakes.  But I do believe that if the economy was doing better, then there would be a little bit more breathing room, so space for wiggling.  It is very scary experiencing this first hand, to have someone completely lose all faith in your abilities, which then threatens your ability to get more work and survive this bump in our economy.  It is a very rough time, a lot of people are getting laid off for lesser offenses than what i have done.  I never thought that a time like this would occur.  I started college and things were doing ok, not great, but nothing i was worried about.  Now that I have graduated, I guess I was just not prepared for such events.  I still don't think I'm prepared but then again how would one prepare for such an awkward and unsettling time

On blogging and status updates

This is my return to blogging, but this time hopefully it will be about something substantial.  You see the first time I had a blog, I was a young and stupid kid who complained about how much life sucked and troubles with girls.  This time around I will bring to this blog, not really deep thoughts, but hopefully something more than "why doesn't *insert name here* like me, and "why would she do that..blah blah blah".  I am not saying that I will not ever talk about the current relationships in my life, but that there will be more to read about in this blog than just that.  So here we go.

I was thinking earlier tonight, why do I feel the need to update my status on various outlets, ie facebook, twitter, etc.  How did I get to a point, where I spend a large amount of time reading through what people are doing or feeling.  I probably don't even talk to half of the people, or even know them personally but for some reason here i am reading that, John just had a bowl of chili for lunch, or that Jane is tired from her trip to LA.  Its very seldom that I talk to these people about their status, so I don't know why I invest so much of my time in reading them.  Does anyone spend time reading about my daily or even hourly status updates.  I would hope not because i live a very plain life, but at the same time, by updating my status, it inherently means that i do hope someone is spending a few moments to check my status.  I don't know, this probably requires a little more thought, I just needed to write it down so I can come back to it later.  

What do you think, do you have an opinion on status updates and why do you update your status?